lyrics
(all songs written by Thick Anso Nylon Plush and ©1987-1989)
Dorothy Gish
Dorothy Gish
Hid inside a letter beneath a dish
She said "What I need is guaranteed postage to be freed"
So now there she sat
Stapled to a magazine on her hat
And thought "Good for me
At least I brought a bucket of Lipton tea!"
Dorothy Gish
Still inside the letter beneath the dish
Let's see, which was square
With a fleur de lis pattern that matched her hair
She said "All I see is blankets upon blankets of entropy,
But hey, that's too deep! Jeez...
The left half of my right leg is fast asleep!
Dorothy Gish
Hid inside a letter beneath a dish
She said "What I need is guaranteed postage to be freed"
The Yellow Car
The yellow car is always there
It never moves without a stare
The radiator fluids boil
And sometimes it runs low on oil
The hazard lights are very bright
And keep the driver safe at night
The yellow car is very neat
There's not a crumb beneath the seat
And when they're shut the doors don't squeak
And never do the windows leak
But after storms and heavy floods
The wheel rims are washed with suds
The yellow car runs well on gas
And always heeds when police cars pass
And down steep hills the brakes don't fail
In wind or snow or sleet or hail
And if you see the yellow car
No matter where or who you are
Regardless of its path or route
The yellow car will always toot
Fond du Lac
Fond du Lac is my hometown
Fond du Lac is quite renowned
We don't eat cheese, but sugar's fine
We store it all inside the mine
And when it rains the syrup spills
And Farmer Ted he counts the kills
But Fond du Lac, oh Fond du Lac...
In Fond du Lac the people scream
When the stores run out of whipping cream
The bank sells teeth in large amounts
To dogs who bark and cats who pounce
And in the spring, when cows grow fur
The whole damn town just starts to whir
But Fond du Lac, oh Fond du Lac...
In Fond du Lac the locals know
That when they cough it starts to snow
The beets run green and cold as ice
They sure hate rats but squirrels are nice
And when the kids are tucked in bed
They grab their saws and watch for feds
But Fond du Lac, oh Fond du Lac...
It sure beats Sheboygan...
Derby Day
On Derby Day, we'll all go down and watch the horses
On Derby Day, we'll all get drunk and blow our noses
I'll eat a sponge
I'll walk the plank
I'll fish for golf
And oil yer crank
On Derby Day, oh darlin' get the judge, we'll all go yip yip yip
On Derby Day, we'll all get lost and check our watches
On Derby Day, we'll all go north and buy kielbasas
We'll pick the corn
We'll show our heads
We'll bronze our shoes
Inside the sheds
On Derby Day, oh darlin' get the judge, we'll all scream "Hiawatha!"
On Derby Day, they'll all scrape mud from in the fender
On Derby Day, they'll all make cole slaw in the blender
I'll fix the plums
I'll lift the sink
We'll melt the pond
Or skate the rink
On Derby Day,
On Derby Day,
On Derby Day,
We'll all stop singing...
Man of Steel
You can do this
You can do that
You can pull a concrete block from out of a hat
You can do that and
You can do this
You can slice a Buick Regal into at least 17 separate pieces
Yes you can
Oh yes you can
You're the ball of gold you're the man of steel
You read the walls
You see the dots
You can communicate without even checking on yer watch
Yes you can
Oh yes you can
You're the ball of gold you're the man of steel
You can do this
You can do that
You can pull a sofa bed from out of a freezer
Yes you can
Oh yes you can
You're the ball of gold you're the man of steel
I Wanna Sleep
I wanna sleep with L. Ron Hubbard
I wanna sneeze inside his cubbard
I wanna fish where no fish goes
I wanna rake inside his nose
I wanna sleep with Eric Idle
I wanna know why he eats Midol
I wanna scream La Morte D'Arthur
But if I were me I wouldn't bother
I wanna sleep with Pia Zadora
But I guess I could settle for Baltimora
My brother's going to see a Journey concert
But I guess that's his problem
Car Song
Let's take my car
And take your car
Bring 'em both to a singles bar
We'll buy 'em drinks
And give 'em winks
And then hack 'em to death with industrial toenail clippers
Oh but the automobile
The civilized way to gain appeal
Oh but the automobile
We'll centrifuge them 'til they learn czechoslovakian
Numbers Racket
You have FOUR shoes
I have SIX teeth
You need FIVE tires
I bought ONE wreath
It's a numbers racket, it's a numbers game
If you want something different, you'll probably get the same
You stole NINE angels
I found TWENTY dice
You sold TWELVE needles
I had lunch THRICE
It's a numbers racket, it's a numbers game
If you want something different, you'll probably get the same
You slide TWO deals
I flew SEVEN nights
You freeze TEN fleas
I'm still COUNTING lights
It's a numbers racket, it's a numbers game
If you want something different, you'll probably get the same
No Money Down
You can buy a house with no money down
You can tell yer wife "Hey there's no money down!"
She can buy one too, with no money down
Why not get her 12? There's no money down...
You can get a job with no money down
You can get some friends with no money down
You can eat some lunch, like an avocado sandwich with grey poupon
It's probably tax deductible!
You can run the world with no money down
You can go to hell, It's no money down
Invest in foreign or local atrocities against humanity!
I just did!
You got it, that's what I did...
Cut By Chocolate
Kiss, kiss is sharp
Chips, chips are sharp
Watch out, watch that nut
Look out, don't be cut
Cut by chocolate
Dave, Dave is bright
Steve, Steve is bright
Both, Yes both are smart
Eat right guys, don't be killed
Cut by chocolate
I, eye like this
You, ewe like that
Wow, what a choice
Hot, fudge it cuts
Cuts... Cuts...
Pour, pour some on
More, pour moron
Dark, and oh so sweet
Red, watch those lips
Cut by chocolate
Cut by chocolate
Cut by chocolate...
Buy Our Cassette
Buy our cassette
We don't have an album
Buy our cassette
Cuz we don't have money
Buy our cassette
And give us yer wires
Lots of copper ones
And even brass
Buy our cassette
Its' really quite good
Buy our cassette
If you like this sort of thing
Buy our cassette
I think it's swell
Buy our cassette
And so do they
Buy our cassette
It's really a bargain
Buy our cassette
Only $---
Buy our cassette
Before the trendies all get one
Buy our cassette
And be the envy of concrete
All lyrics ©1987, 1988, 1989 by thick anso nylon plush/invaders from sears
Invaders From Sears Info • Pix 1 • Pix 2 • Posters • Lyrics • Bio • Facebook Page • Myspace Page
everything ©2011 by www.bilgedasto.com